I found a race in the nearby city of Arlington (about an hour or so drive) called the Rescue Run. It was a 10K and would have been my longest race ever. I was really looking forward to stepping up race length and thought it would also be a great way to prep for the half marathon I had coming up a month after. I spent some time training in the weeks prior, but wasn't nearly as prepared as I needed to be. So many things in my life kept getting in the way of my training.
- We got the lease renewal for our already over-priced apartment and found out the increase was going to price us out of being able to live there. This meant every spare moment we had after work was spent apartment hunting.- Right about the time some folks came through and helped us out with the apartment situation and we re-signed our lease, our apartment became infested with fleas (and at the time, we didn't even have any pets!). I was covered in so many flea bites that at first my husband and I thought I had the chicken pox. I constantly itched and the bites swelled enough that wearing socks and shoes was painful. Training in this condition was near impossible.
- We got rid of the fleas, by the grace of God (and with a ridiculous amount of chemicals), and I finally thought I could get back into the rhythm of training. But of course, it was not that simple. New neighbors moved in above us. Our previous upstairs neighbor, although annoying because he smoked like a chimney and the smoke sometimes made its way into our house, not to mention the flicked ash and still lit cigarettes landing on our patio and in the bushes in front of our apartment, he was quiet. He was quiet enough that unless we smelled smoked, we hardly knew he was around. Our new neighbors? Not so much. They were loud CONSTANTLY. Doing laundry at all hours of the day and night, running around and playing basketball in the house, jumping off of furniture onto the floor and knocking pictures and knick-knacks down off our walls and shelves, and behaving as if they were the only people in the building. My husband tried talking to them to no avail. To top it all off, our neighbors on the other side of the walkway got another dog and the two dogs barked any time anyone walked past their apartment, meaning the barking went right into our bedroom window.Needless to say, with all of this going on, I wasn't getting much sleep. I was exhausted constantly. I couldn't train much because I could barely find the energy to make it through my work day. I would fall asleep crying because I was just so frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, and, well, just plain a mess. The week of the Rescue Run 10K arrived and I was a mess. There's no better way to say it. I had gotten less than 10 miles of training done that week and had only slept about the same number of hours that week too. I talked over with Riku about whether or not it was a good idea to run this 10K when I was so exhausted and untrained. I was on the fence about participating. I didn't feel good about it on any level, but I felt like saying "no" was quitting or giving up. Riku wanted me to pass on the race and he supported me in making the best choice for my health and self. I had an appointment for a pedicure, so he told me to go, relax, think about my decision, and then let him know.
I made my decision during the pedicure. It was easy to make when the woman doing my nails clipped the cuticle on my left pinkie toe so short that she cut into the skin causing it to bleed. The pain was horrible and it took several minutes for my foot to stop bleeding. Walking was painful and within 24 hours, the cut was infected, despite sanitizing it and keeping it clean and protected. I could barely walk, let alone run. Between the pain of my foot and the exhaustion from getting so little sleep, from lack of preparation to frustration with our living situation, I was out of cope and I was starting to lose my ability to function.
There would be no Rescue Run 10K for me. It broke my heart. I felt like a failure. I texted my best friend, Laura, and told her I would not be going to the 10K race and I told her why. Just like my husband, Riku, she supported my decision and reassured me that deciding not to participate does not make me a failure. I had to make a decision that was good for me and my health and well-being. Sometimes, that means saying NO to a race. It's easy to sign up for a race, pay that registration fee, and start training. It's not nearly as easy to decide that it's in your best interest to stay home.
Running injured is NOT running smart. Knowing I had my first half marathon coming up in just a few weeks, I decided to focus on that instead. I made better, healthier choices for myself and gave my mind, body, and spirit time to heal properly. Saying "no" was the right decision for me and I don't regret it for a second. Saying "no" does not make me a failure, it makes me smart. Running is healthy, but can also be hard on the body. Part of being a smart runner is making smart choices and when you ask yourself if you're healthy enough for a race, Sometimes, the Answer is No.
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